Let this be a brief record of some stock phrases from my corporate web development at $JOB that have either lost all meaning to me, or otherwise need to be banned from all workplace conversation.

"From a <user/design/product> perspective..."

This seems reasonable on its face. As an engineer, I can bounce from product to design to reliability concerns. But I've worked in places where this was hilariously overused, and if you are repeatedly saying "from a design perspective" as a designer, I'm forced to conclude you like the sound of your own voice.

I am guilty of this one, but I avoid "from an engineering perspective" at all costs, because that's implicit in everything I say.

Semi-related: "As a user/engineer/designer" is a stock phrase from the old User Story ticket format. I'm trying to use it less, but it slips out sometimes.

"Does that track?"

There are a few flavors of this one from the short "everyone okay?" to "if that makes sense?". This is totally fine in moderation, and can be perfectly normal conversation, but at least 3 times I've met people who "check-in" after every single clause.

It's just filler. It assumes that professionals need to be explicitly prompted to ask questions. We're professionals: either we'll ask questions, or we don't feel safe asking questions.

Instead, just say "hey I want to be interrupted with questions, please do so whenever" in a 1-on-1, or have obvious stopping points between topics and take questions then. Otherwise, treat it like a much longer and more distracting "hmmm", and just replace it with silence.

"As a <staff/senior> developer, the expectation is that you can..."

This is a rough one, and my least favorite. It is only deployed by managers.

While this may be acceptable for someone who's been recently promoted, it's just rude for anyone who's been in their job for any length of time.

No, you cannot "expect" a 15 year full-stack developer you hired for Python to magically be as productive in Ruby as your Ruby team on day one.

It's most common with new managers. I've been a senior engineer longer than they've been a manager, and I've worked with engineering managers longer than they've been one. If anything, I should be citing job expectations to them.

But I don't cite the job expectations of a manager to my manager because...well can you hear how absurd that sounds? This kind of tone would be wildly unprofessional without the power dynamic making it "acceptable".

"Resourcing"

Actually this is my least favorite, but managers adore this one.

Free professional advice, when a manager is talking about "resources", they mean "human beings". My deepest professional shame is being praised for my "strategic thinking" in a meeting where I asked if we had the "bandwidth" to "resource" a project.

I no longer work at that company. I will not elaborate further on why this is an absolutely terrible euphemism, and you should immediately distrust anyone who uses it unironically.

An addendum.

If you work at a company that uses these phrases a lot, and you want to succeed, mirroring the stock phrases of your manager or manager's manager is a good move. Not obviously, but sprinkle in a few "From an engineering perspective" and "if that makes sense to everyone" now and then.

It's well documented that mirroring makes you more sympathetic to the mirrored party, and it's free. The only risk is to your professional soul, and you can't pay the bills with your soul.

Blatant Engagement Farming

I'm posting this in a few places, so let me know what your least favorite ones are. I know "synergy", "circle back", and "sync up" are all stereotypical corporate jargon, but I've rarely seen them in the wild.